i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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