yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
