You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
