The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
