Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
