I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
