Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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