Need sex. Gaining weight.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
