he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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