I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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