I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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