My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
