matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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