No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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