...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
