She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
