No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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