i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
