And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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