Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
