its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
