I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
