She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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