rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
