Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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