Im at strip club and am horny
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
