I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
