puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
