Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
