Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
