your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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