Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
