his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
