Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was CRYING into my vagina
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
