I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
