by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
