her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
