Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we're making bets on your personal life
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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