I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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