Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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