Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
