are you so shy because you have an std?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize