i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
