Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
