Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
