Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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