mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
