I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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