you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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