im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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