no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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