Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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