Your mouth is God's brothel.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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