He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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