some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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