Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
