Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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