No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
