it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
