the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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