The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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