YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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