Who did Billy Mays play for?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There are leaves in my underwear?
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