capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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