I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
