Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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