Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
