He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
