My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
