this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
